A magical weekend reconnecting with my mum
Today's post is the day after the 2024 Mother's Day weekend. My mum travelled to the Bundaberg region from Brisbane by Tilt Train to spend the weekend with me and to have a taste of my new beach lifestyle at Bargara. We had a wonderful, magical time together, and mum certainly got to experience virtually everything I do on a daily basis here, except for the oceanfront bike ride. She also could see why I have fallen in love with the Coral Coast in the beautiful Bundaberg region of Queensland, Australia. But something much more magical happened this weekend, and it's something I never expected. Mum was in my new world here. A new life I have created for myself by returning to the Bundaberg region and simply living my best life and being my true authentic self in the town where around 1983 I made that fateful decision to lead a straight life because I was too scared to accept being gay. Mum used words here over the weekend like relaxed, happy, calm, true self and comfortable about me. We discussed my childhood in Brisbane from when I was a little boy to 1982, and then in particular, elements about my childhood here in Bundaberg between 1982-1985. I was able to explain to mum how music played an important role in my life, and she wanted to listen to some of the songs in my playlists, but she also wanted to understand what they meant to me. Not only was I able to explain this to her, but as the songs were being played, she was reading the lyrics so she could actually hear and understand the words being sung. As a result of all of this, along with mum "living my dream" for a few days here in Bargara, I honestly believe she was able to "walk in my shoes" for a little while, certainly here in Bargara over the past three days, but more importantly, when I was a little boy, teenager and young adult, and feel some of my pain, loneliness and rejection of the past. I think she experienced the full range of my roller coaster of life experiences. As I farewelled her this morning at Bundaberg Railway Station, tears welled in her eyes, and mine too. Without thinking, I blurted out "Wow, a DeJa'Vu moment. It's like my tears saying goodbye to you at Darwin Airport in that plane as it taxied to the runway all those years ago in 1982." It's like life has done a full circle. I never gave up hope that if I kept being consistent with my story right from the beginning, and being totally open and honest about it, then one day, I would finally be understood. I feel like mum finally sees me, not just hears me. I am no longer invisible. At least to her anyway. I now have a renewed, authentic sense of PRIDE, which is very significant to me because for most of my childhood, I never had any! I am totally filled with joy today.
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